


We Could Be Immortal

by hidekaneheadcanons



Series: A Hauntingly Hidekane Halloween [7]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kitsune!Hide, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Yokai AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-03 18:24:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21183953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidekaneheadcanons/pseuds/hidekaneheadcanons
Summary: Kaneki has protected the forest for hundreds of years. One day, he finds a kitsune staring at the koi in his pond. Letting him stay, he wasn't expecting for him to have such a profound impact on his life.





	1. Chapter 1

A kitsune was staring at the koi in his pond. His tails – all five of them – swished back and forth idly, his ears perked. To humans, he looked just like one of them, even though his blonde hair was highly unusual. However, Kaneki could see through the illusion he cast. He could see the blonde ears and tail, tipped and highlighted with an orangish-red. He could also see the aura around him – a ghostly foxfire that showed his magic was at play.

Kaneki came up silently behind him, waiting for the kitsune to notice his reflection in the water. Eventually, the kitsune met his eyes through the reflection and stiffened. “What are you doing on my land, Kitsune?”

The kitsune’s eyes narrowed. His magic swirled around him and Kaneki tensed in kind. His hand dropped to the sword on his hip. Kaneki didn’t want to fight, but he could if he had to.

“Are you the deity here?” The kitsune turned slowly, his foxfire fading. His ears twitched; his expression slightly sheepish. “Sorry, I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

Kaneki didn’t’ bother to correct him, but he lowered his hand from his sword. “What are you doing here? Passing through?”

“Er, no. Hopefully not.” The kitsune rubbed the back of his head and smiled. “I was looking for somewhere to call home.”

Kaneki frowned. Kitsune could be troublesome. They were mischievous at their best, and malevolent and vicious at their worst. They could cause a lot of trouble, especially for the humans in the area. Other kitsune simply took pleasure in harmless little jokes. So, what type of kitsune was this one?

He looked scared and a little hopeful. Although, that light in his eyes dimmed the longer Kaneki took to consider. His expression fell and he wringed his hands, rocking back and forth on his feet. “I won’t be too much trouble, I promise.” His expression was pained. “I just want… somewhere to start over.”

Kaneki understood that feeling all too well. Plus, Kaneki couldn’t judge someone for something they hadn’t done. He deserved a chance, just like anyone else.

Kaneki sighed. “You can stay. Of course you can.”

The kitsune’s eyes brightened and he practically started bouncing. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He gave a quick, but deep bow. “You won’t regret it! I promise. Oh, and I’m Hide by the way.” He grinned wide enough to show his slightly elongated canines.

“Kaneki Ken.” He turned to head back home, twitched when he heard Hide hesitantly fall into step behind him. He turned, narrowing his eyes at him. Hide just smiled at him sheepishly.

He hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision.

Hide followed him all the way home, ignoring all the wary glances Kaneki was sending his way. His footsteps were light on the cobbled path up to Kaneki’s small, single room home. Kaneki stepped through the screen door and toed his sandals off. Hide followed suit behind him.

“Are there… special rules I should follow?” Hide was paused in the doorway, taking in the room. His eyes rested on Kaneki’s collection of scrolls and books for a while.

“Not particularly, so long as you’re peaceful and not seeking to harm anyone.” Kaneki lit a fire in the irori and started boiling water for some tea. “You can settle where you want in the nearby area. If you have any questions or need help, you can ask me.”

“Nearby?” Hide hummed softly. “Like neighbors?”

“_No._” Kaneki pinched the bridge of his nose. “Or – I suppose, in a way. There aren’t too many people who have settled down here.” They mostly just passed through the forest, on the path connecting two nearby towns.

Hide pouted, but recovered quickly, smiling. “Well, I suppose we could work something out…”

Kaneki sat at his low table, gesturing for Hide to take the cushion across from him. The cushions were old and a bit worn, but every bit as comfortable when Kaneki got them almost ten years earlier.

“I think you’ll like it here.” He hoped Hide would. “It’s quiet.” Kaneki was itching to ask Hide where he was coming from, but he didn’t want to be rude. It was clear he was running from something. “Winter is coming soon though, so you’ll want to get settled as soon as possible.”

Hide wrinkled his nose a bit. “I hate the cold.”

Kaneki hated it as well, but there was something nice about being curled up by the fire with some nice, hot tea. However, “I like the snow.” And the crisp smell it brought to the air.

“Eugh, _snow_.”

Kaneki’s lips twitched upwards. “Oh, only a couple feet of it.”

Hide groaned.

“And it only stays for about four months.” Kaneki enjoyed teasing Hide, but decided to give him some respite. “One of the towns nearby has a fantastic hot spring. You should try it in the winter. You won’t regret it.”

Kaneki retrieved the boiling water and poured it over a mixture of tea leaves he prepared earlier, then set it aside to steep for a few minutes. The pleasant, familiar aroma drifted over him. Kaneki relaxed, some of the tension in his shoulders easing.

“What are some things you like?” Kaneki wanted to get to know him a little better. Especially if he was going to be sticking around.

Hide hummed. “Well, _summer_ for one thing.” His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. “People, I guess? They’re kind of interesting. And mysteries. Those are fun.”

Kaneki raised his eyebrows.

Hide held up his hands. “I mean that in the most innocent way possible. I swear!” He grinned. Like Kaneki, he was beginning to relax. He was all smiles now, eyes twinkling with mischievousness. That expression suited him a lot better than worry or fear.

“I’m sure you do.” Kaneki shook his head and smiled.

Hide smirked. “Hmm, aside from that… I like flowers and rocks and bugs – I like collecting them too. Like you do with scrolls and books, I suppose.” He stared wistfully at Kaneki’s collection, no doubt having lost his own.

He only focused back on Kaneki when he started pouring their tea. He took the cup Kaneki offered him, humming as he brought it to his lips. Kaneki closed his eyes as he sipped his tea, sighing softly.

When he opened his eyes, he found Hide’s gaze had sharpened and he regarded Kaneki intently. His eyes glowed, hints of red foxfire behind the rich brown. Kaneki struggled to not shift under the weight of his gaze. Kaneki wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but considering the slow smile spreading across Hide’s face, he found it.

~<3<3<3~

Hide was kind of an idiot. Only an idiot would try to pet a shachihoko.

Kaneki was out checking his traps when he found blood splatter near the river. It led from the water into the forest. After a couple minutes of following it, Kaneki came across Hide sitting against a tree, trying to control the bleeding with a couple strips of his yukata. He looked pale and rattled.

As he helped Hide finish bandaging his wounds, he asked what happened. And _apparently_, upon seeing a shachihoko in the river, Hide decided the natural thing to do was wade into the water and give it a pat on the head.

Shachihoko lived in the ocean, but it wasn’t uncommon for them to occasionally migrate down the river, especially given with how close they were to the ocean. Kaneki found them occasionally, though he hadn’t actually seen one in quite a few years.

“And _why_, did you decide to pet it?” Hide had _seven _tails, which meant he had to be at least a couple hundred years old, like Kaneki. He couldn’t imagine someone so old making such a mistake. Even humans knew better.

“Well, I like fish. And I like cats. And tigers are a type of cat and _it was just really cute, _okay? And it looked super peaceful floating in the water there, and it didn’t seem to mind when I joined it for a swim, so I thought it was _friendly!_” Hide glared in the direction of the river. “It was _not _friendly.”

Kaneki shook his head. “Let’s get you back to my place. That way we can wrap this up properly.”

“Eh?” Hide was confused. “It’ll heal though.” Hide apparently had no issue with his crappy, makeshift bandages. “I don’t get sick.” It was true, yōkai didn’t fall ill or get infections from injuries. They also healed quicker – much quicker – than humans did.

“I have some ointment that will help lessen the pain.” Kaneki shrugged. “I don’t mind giving you some.”

Hide’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

Kaneki eyed his wound and gave him a kind smile. “Just try not to bleed on my cushions.”

“I won’t!” Hide promised. He stood, swaying a little on his feet. Kaneki put an arm around him, mindful of his injury. Hide mumbled his thanks, letting Kaneki direct him to his house. By the time they got there, Hide had bleed through his bandages and was foggy from blood loss. The wound was a lot worse than Kaneki thought it was.

Kaneki sat Hide down, not actually minding if he got blood on the cushions. He unwrapped Hide’s makeshift bandages and held back a hiss. The shachihoko had quite the hold on Hide’s arm. It didn’t manage to rip a chunk out, but its teeth still carved long gouges into Hide’s skin. He couldn’t believe Hide was just going to let it heal like that.

“I’ll get my kit. That needs stitches.” Kaneki was no healer, but he was decent and had enough experience in patching up wounds to help Hide out. He pressed some clean cloths to the wound to help slow the flow of blood.

“Stitches?” Hide paled. “Surely not.” He laughed nervously. “I think I’ll be fine. I really should be going?”

He started to stand, but Kaneki put a hand on his shoulder to keep him sitting. “_Sit_.” He put on some tea that would help with pain. When it was done, he poured Hide a cup and placed it in his hands. He sat beside him with his kit, unwrapping the bandages again to get a closer look at the wound. He frowned when he saw something stuck in one off the wounds. Kaneki held Hide steady, then slowly pulled it out.

Hide gasped in pain. “Oh god. That’s a tooth.” Hide shuddered. “I really, _really_ don’t do good with blood.”

“Drink your tea. It’ll help with the pain and help calm you.”

Hide groaned, but complied, taking a large gulp. He almost coughed it back up, sputtering. “That’s _terrible._”

“That’s medicine. _Finish it_.”

Hide gave him the stink-eye, but drank the tea anyway, his face screwed up. At least he had something else on his mind than his injured arm. When he put the empty cup aside, Kaneki started the task of cleaning out the wound with alcohol. Hide swore through the ordeal, running a hand through his hair.

“I think I’m going to puke.”

Kaneki grabbed one of his pots and placed it at Hide’s feet. “Try not to. If you do, I’ll make you drink more tea.”

“Don’t mention that stuff. It just makes me want to puke more.” Hide placed a hand over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut.

Kaneki finished the cleaning and nodded to himself. “I’m going to start stitching. Try to stay still, okay?”

Hide did his best, but still instinctually twitched and pulled on Kaneki’s firm hold when the needle repeatedly pierced his skin. They sat for a couple hours, Kaneki taking his time to make sure the wound would heal properly and scar as little as possible. By the time he was done, Hide was drenched in sweat and shivering.

Kaneki put a good amount of ointment over the wound and bandaged it properly. Hide was pretty out of it at that point, so Kaneki eased him down to the ground and stuck a cushion under his head. He draped one of his blankets over him and let him rest.

Meanwhile, Kaneki cleaned up the mess and got rid of all the bloodstains he could. He also went and check his traps, pleased to find a good, fat rabbit in one of them. His gathering all produced some root vegetables and some fruit. He decided to make some stew with the rabbit and vegetables, saving the fruit for dessert.

Kaneki sat with a book as he waited for the stew to cook, thumbing through familiar pages he read long ago. There was only the crackling of the fire and quite breathes as Hide slept. When Kaneki was finished his book and the stew was almost done, Hide roused.

He mumbled a bit, then hissed as he went to roll over and jostled his injured side. His eyes snapped open and he quickly glanced around the room, clearly surprised to have waken up there. Finally, he met Kaneki’s even gaze with a sheepish one.

“Do you want some food? Or are you still feeling too ill?”

Hide opened his mouth. Snapped it shut. Then tried again. “Food would be… good?”

Kaneki gave Hide a bowl full, somewhat amused by Hide’s cautious expression as he eyed the stew, looking like he thought it would bite him.

“It tastes better than the tea, I promise.”

Hide flushed, mumbling apologies. He took the wooden spoon Kaneki gave him and dug in. He inhaled his first bowl, so Kaneki gave him another. Kaneki ate at a much more sedate pace, keeping an eye on how Hide was doing. Clearly better, considering the appetite he had.

Once their dinner was done, Kaneki made sure to pack up some more tea for Hide, despite the sour look on his face at the prospect of drinking more. His pout made Kaneki smile with amusement, which only made Hide pout some more.

He left sooner than Kaneki would have liked. He wanted to make sure Hide was okay, but Hide didn’t want to ‘bother him’ anymore, and he couldn’t exactly force him to stay. So he watched Hide leave his doorstep into the darkness of night with a frown.

~<3<3<3~

Five days passed before Kaneki encountered one of Hide’s little tricks. It was nothing malicious, and just a little unexpected. Kaneki came back from an afternoon of foraging and checking his snares to find one of his teacups missing, red flower petals resting in its place. There was a trail of them leading out the back door. Sliding it open, he found his teacup at his feet and a single flower set beside it. Hide was sitting on a rock nearby, his legs stretched out and head tilted back to stare at the sky.

“It’s rude to go into people’s homes without permission.” Kaneki sat on the ground, teacup in one hand and flowers in the other. He sniffed the flowers. “What are these?”

“Camellia. I got them from a shop in town. The lady there gave them to me for an afternoon of work.” Hide picked some dirt out from under his nail. “I like planting things. I think I’ll make a garden in the spring. She told me I could get seeds from her. She says she could always use more help.”

“You’re enjoying it here, then?”

“I think I am. Yeah.” Hide smiled brightly, but then his expression sobered. “I think it’s the happiest I’ve been in a while.”

“I’m happy for you.” Slowly, in case Hide decided he wanted to pull back, Kaneki reached out towards him. He rested his hand on Hide’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

Hide’s eyes watered. He hastily shut them and looked away. “Thanks. For letting me stay. You have no idea how grateful I am.” He shook his head. “But enough talking about me. You didn’t tell me anything about yourself when we met.”

Kaneki wasn’t a big fan of talking about himself. “You know I like to read…” Kaneki pursed his lips. “Ah… I like tea?”

Hide spun to face him, looking absolutely scandalized. “That’s _it_?”

“Um… yes?”

“No. No, no, no. That is absolutely unacceptable.” Hide’s bad mood seemingly vanished, his eyes glowing with foxfire in his excitement. “We need to find you more hobbies.”

“Do I have a choice in this?”

“Nope,” he said cheerfully. “Just let Hide take care of you.”

Kaneki groaned. He did _not _like the sound of that.

“No complaining. Come on! Up on your feet.” Hide stood and grabbed one of Kaneki’s arms, insistently pulling on it. Judging by his strength, his injury was completely healed already. “Come on. Come on! We’re going to town.”

“Okay. Just let me put the flowers in some water first,” Kaneki placated. “Then I’ll come.”

Hide impatiently trailed after him the whole time, Kaneki taking a little longer doing everything just to annoy him. Once he finished, Hide grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him out of the house and down the road leading to the town North of the forest.

The town was relatively large. Farmhouses were spread far and wide, and had more than enough fields to grow food for everyone. Even further north, there were rice fields heading up to the mountains. The walk took a couple hours, but with Hide chattering about everything he saw, it hardly seemed to take time at all.

Hide headed right for town centre, where there were countless stalls set up for people to sell their wares. There were some stalls where people sold clothing they made. Hunters were selling dried and fresh meats, caught earlier in the day. Farmers were selling their produce. A couple merchants were in town selling gems, expensive jewellery and materials.

Hide glanced around in excitement, eyes wide and taking everything in. His gaze finally landed on a stall selling flowers. There was a woman with a blonde bob running it. When Hide waved excitedly, she waved back, smiling.

However, Kaneki’s eyes went elsewhere – to a mother and daughter dressed in dark robes, handing out charms to the townsfolk. He started towards them, hearing Hide make a questioning noise behind him.

“Onmyoji? Are you sure it’s a good idea to –“

“Big Brother!” Hinami ran and gave Kaneki a tackling hug, making Hide squawk in surprise. “It’s been _months_.”

“Has it really been that long?” Kaneki rubbed his chin. Time went by so quickly.

“Who’s this?” Hinami stared past Kaneki. Her eyes immediately went to Hide’s tails and up to his ears. She too was able to see through the illusion he cast. She gaped a little, until her mother laid a hand on her shoulder.

Ryouko smiled kindly. “It’s impolite to stare,” she whispered. Then, she regarded Hide. “I’m Fueguchi Ryouko and this is my daughter, Hinami. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Are you new around these parts?”

“I am.” Hide fidgeted. “My name’s Hide. I got here just a couple days ago.”

“Oh, well I’m hoping you like it so far.” At her gentle tone, Hide relaxed. “Kaneki’s been showing you around then?”

Hide choked on a laugh, a hand flying up to cover his mouth. “_Please._ I had to drag the shut-in out.” Hide nudged Kaneki with his elbow when he glared. “It’s been fun though.”

“I see. I hope you continue to do that. We’d like to see Kaneki around a little more. You two should come for tea sometime. We could get to know a little bit about you, Hide. And catch up with Kaneki too. But for now, we have to get back to work.”

“Of course.” Kaneki interjected. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Make sure you come by soon!” Hinami smiled brightly and waved at them.

As soon as they were out of sight, Hide’s eyes cut to him. They were twinkling, a smirk pulling at his lips. “_Big Brother,_ huh?” Kaneki twitched, feeling his cheeks burning, despite himself. “You’re not an Onmyoji too, are you?” Hide poked one of Kaneki’s cheeks lightly. “You don’t really look like one.”

Kaneki frowned and pushed Hide’s poking finger away. “I’m not. We’re not family by blood.”

Hide hummed. “See, but I’m kind of confused. I thought you were a deity at first, but you don’t really seem like one either. You’re way too… chill. No big, booming voice. No grandiose sense of self…”

“I protect this forest. I have for hundreds of years. That’s all you need to know. Any other illusions you have about me – who I am, what I am – please keep them to yourself.” Kaneki spun on his heel.

Hide gasped. “Wait, no! I’m sorry.” He ran to keep up with Kaneki’s brisk pace as he moved through the crowd. When Kaneki didn’t stop walking, Hide darted out in front of him, bowing low. “I didn’t know it was something that bothered you, so I’m sorry I asked.” Hide straightened, his eyes pleading. “There’s… topics I don’t like to talk about too. I’m sure you already know that. So, I want to pay you the same respect. I won’t ask again, I promise.”

Kaneki pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew Hide was being genuine, but the ache in his chest made it difficult to acknowledge that. Hide was curious, like most kitsune. And despite his best intentions and his promises, he might still unintentionally dig up Kaneki’s past – one he _definitely _didn’t want to think about.

_Your past does not define you. Your future is what you make of it. _

Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay,” he choked out. He would continue to try – just like he promised to so many years ago.

Hide reached out and Kaneki hesitantly took his hand. Hide squeezed his hand, grip confident and reassuring. It was almost enough to banish the ache in his chest – and the sinking feeling that he _didn’t deserve this_.

~<3<3<3~

Hide left him a gift everyday. The first gift was another Camellia, left right on his doorstep. Kaneki couldn’t help but smile as he added it with the other flower. The next day, there was another flower, just on the edge of the forest but still in sight. The next day, a rock embedded with gems was tied to a tree with a piece of thread dyed bright red. The gifts were mostly flowers and rocks, all hidden in increasingly different ways. Kaneki found it difficult sometimes, but Hide left hints with red threads, letting Kaneki know when he was getting close.

It was strangely fun. Kaneki had a growing collection of rocks on his bookshelves, and he always seemed to have fresh flowers on his table. A week later, after a couple of particularly worm days, Kaneki awoke to find Hide sitting quietly outside his door. There was something rectangular wrapped in a pale cloth.

“Not going to hide it on me this time?”

Hide grinned. “Nah, this one is a little too important.” He handed it to Kaneki, practically vibrating in excitement.

Kaneki laid his hand over the cloth, smiling. Hide leaned close, brushing their shoulders together. The warmth made Kaneki’s skin tingle. Unwrapping the cloth, Kaneki found a thin book with an unfamiliar cover. He glanced up at Hide in surprise.

“I got it from a merchant passing through town. Thought you might want to add it to your collection. Do you like it?” He pressed closer, chest against Kaneki’s shoulder.

“I love it,” Kaneki whispered. He ran his hand over the cover. Hide grinned and nudged Kaneki with his shoulder.

“I did good.”

“You did good.” Kaneki smiled. “Thank you.”

Hide positively beamed, his face a couple inches from Kaneki’s, because he apparently had no concept of personal space. The longer Hide gazed at him, the more Kaneki felt his face heat up. Up close, he could see all the tiny freckles that dotted Hide’s face. His eyes were bright, brown flecked with gold, with a hint of red foxfire burning underneath. A couple of his teeth were endearingly crooked, framed by soft lips.

The smug look on Hide’s face let him know that he knew exactly what Kaneki was thinking. Kaneki chest ached in response. He hoped to hell Hide wasn’t just toying with him, getting a reaction out of him because he knew he could.

Hide frowned, noticing the change in demeanor. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing.” Kaneki pushed the negative thoughts aside, remembering how sincere Hide was when he apologized to him for trying to dig up his past. No, he didn’t think Hide wanted to hurt him. “Do you want to come in? I have something to give you as well.”

Hide’s eyes widened. “You got me something?”

“Of course.” With all Hide’s presents, it was impossible not to. “Follow me.”

Kaneki had Hide’s gift on his bookshelf, the small wooden container easy to miss. A small red ribbon was wrapped around it, securing the lid. Kaneki handed it to Hide, who took it tentatively. Hide undid the ribbon, folding it carefully and laying it to the side. He lifted the lid, then glanced at Kaneki, eyes wide again.

“_For me?”_

“I said that already, didn’t I?” Hide was frozen, so Kaneki scooped up the necklace. The deep red stone dangled from the pale cord, glimmering as the light hit it. “Here.” Kaneki put the necklace over Hide’s head, fingers brushing against Hide’s soft hair. The necklace settled over Hide’s solar plexus.

Hide touched it lightly with his fingertips. His eyes glistened, but before any tears fell, he launched himself at Kaneki. They both fell to the ground, the air knocked harshly out of Kaneki’s lungs, even as Hide’s arms cushioned his back. Hide pressed his face into Kaneki’s shoulder, mumbling thankful words.

Kaneki folded his arms around Hide, feeling the way his body shuddered with his rugged breathes.

“I’m sorry.” Hide said. “It’s just I’ve never gotten a gift like this.”

Kaneki frowned. Hide still had his face buried against his shoulder, so he didn’t see. Hide gave Kaneki all those gifts, and Hide was such a giving person that Kaneki was sure he would have gifted things to people in the past. How had he never received anything in return?

Unable to resist, Kaneki dragged his fingers through Hide’s hair. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get you more gifts then.”

Hide laughed. He pushed himself up on his elbows, smiling, eyes still watery. “Sorry I crushed you.”

“It’s okay.” Kaneki didn’t mind – not when it was Hide. “You don’t have to apologize.”

Hide’s smile was soft. “Then I’ll just have to thank you. Over and over.” Hide’s eyes dropped from Kaneki’s to his lips. Kaneki found himself quickly being aware of Hide’s body and how close they were. His legs were on either side of Kaneki’s hips. Their chests were an inch apart. Kaneki shifted a bit, but Hide stayed firmly where he was. Hide’s breath tickled Kaneki’s lips.

Kaneki licked his lips and Hide’s eyes closely followed the motion. Hide’s pupils were dilated, the foxfire burning in them even more intense. Hide was warm. Kaneki wanted to curl against him, hold him and be held.

He wanted it so _bad._ But guilt curled in his stomach. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to hold someone so close and so dear. He didn’t deserve happiness.

Hide cupped his cheeks, arms braced on either side of his head. “You’re sad.” He didn’t ask why.

He wondered if Hide would still like him, be with him like this, if he knew what Kaneki had done. All the terrible things he’d done in his life. The people he hurt. The lives he took. What would he do if he learned that Kaneki was someone not worthy of love?’

Kaneki put his hands over Hide’s and pulled them away from his face. He couldn’t bear to look at his heartbroken expression. Kaneki swallowed on the bile rising in his throat. Even now, he was hurting Hide. “It’s not – “ Kaneki gritted his teeth. “I’m sorry.” He put his hands on Hide’s shoulders and pushed him off gently, sliding back so he could get out from under Hide’s weight and onto his feet.

There was silence, then a short laugh. “So, you’re going to tell me not to apologize, then tell me _you’re _sorry?” Hide stood. “If I don’t have to apologize, then neither do you.” Hide took Kaneki’s hands in his. “Deal?”

Kaneki opened his mouth argue, but Hide raised his eyebrows and gave him a firm look.

“Good,” Hide said, as if Kaneki agreed with him. He raised a hand to his chest, playing with the necklace Kaneki gave him with a pleased, little smile on his face. Then he closed the distance between them and brushed his lips against Kaneki’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Kaneki’s jaw dropped in surprise. He raised his hand to his cheek, sputtering. “I – you –“

“Tomorrow!” With a jaunty wave, his skipped out of the house, leaving Kaneki to his thoughts. Of which, Kaneki didn’t even know how to begin to process.

~<3<3<3~

The unseasonably hot weather brought a storm. Kaneki didn’t particularly mind the rain. He enjoyed the sound of it pounding against the roof, so long as he didn’t have to deal with any leaks. Thunder rumbled in the distance, promising worse to come. Kaneki sighed and rolled out of bed. He had various pots and bowls he would have to set out and catch the water.

He slipped on some warmer clothes, rubbing his arms and shivering. He stoked the fire in the irori and added some more wood, then set some water over it for some tea. After he set out the bowls where he knew the roof would leak, he sat on his mattress and pulled his blankets around him.

There was a sense of unease building in his gut, making him wonder if the storm was going to be worse than it seemed. Even drinking his tea did nothing to calm him. Something was wrong, he could _feel it._ Frowning, he closed his eyes and expanded his senses out. There was nothing unusual – everything was normal – except –

_There._

Foxfire.

Kaneki shot to his feet. Now that he sensed the magic, it was impossible to ignore. So were the emotions entangled in it.

Fear. _Pain._

Kaneki rushed to his bookcase. On one of the shelves, sat a weapons case he only opened in case of emergencies. Kaneki usually felt dread when he opened the lid and closed his hand over the smooth metal handle of the club. But there was only worry, panic, and the desperate need to make sure Hide was okay.

The rain outside soaked through Kaneki’s clothes in moments, but he didn’t feel cold anymore. He couldn’t see the ground under his feet as he ran, but he lived in the forest long enough to know every root and every pitfall. His breath came out in short huffs, lungs burning as he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. Sharp branches tore his clothes and into his skin as he went by, some of the foliage too dense for him to avoid them completely.

When he came upon the scene, magic was heavy in the air. He expected to see signs of a fight, but nothing was out of place, save for the animals that fled, sensing the danger. Hide’s magic surged again, close to his right. Confused, Kaneki approached slowly.

He found him curled up against the gnarled roots of a great tree, arms wrapped around his knees. His foxfire floated around him, brightening the area. His fingers dug into the cloth at his ankles, sharp nails cutting holes into the fabric. The illusion he usually cast was stripped away, ears and tails out on full display.

“Hide?” Kaneki hid his club behind him and tried to appear as non-threatening as possible.

Hide’s head shot up at his voice. Tears streamed down his cheeks, eyes red and puffy. He was shaking terribly. His face twisted when he saw Kaneki, and he lowered it in shame. Frowning, Kaneki knelt at his side. He used a hand to lift Hide’s chin so he could get a good look at him. He didn’t seem hurt – no physically anyway, but Kaneki wanted to check again to make sure.

“I don’t –“ Hide pulled away from Kaneki and curled himself up into a tighter ball – if that was even possible. His voice shook as spoke. “I don’t like storms.” As if to prove his point, lightning flashed across the sky and Hide flinched away, eyes scrunching shut. He didn’t react any better to the thunder that followed.

“Hide.” Kaneki put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed what he hoped was a soothing circle. “It’s freezing. You can’t stay out here. Come on.”

He barely managed to coax Hide to his feet, taking one of his hands and leading him back to his home. He could feel Hide’s flinches every time there was lightning, as well as his sharp inhales. But slowly, eventually, they made it. By then, they were both shaking, dripping messes. He left Hide with the instruction to undress and stay by the fire to get warm. Meanwhile, Kaneki put his club away and scrounged up some dry clothes.

By the time he was changed, Hide still hadn’t started to undress, staring into the fire with a somewhat dazed expression. Kaneki set his clothes to the side and settled next to Hide.

“You need to get out of those wet clothes,” Kaneki said softly. When Hide made no move, Kaneki sighed and nudged Hide’s hands until he started undoing ties and pulling the damp clothes off with numb fingers.

Kaneki added even more wood to the fire. Hide finished dressing himself and went back to staring into the fire. Tears still trailed down his cheeks, his face pale and drawn. There were circles under his eyes, and they were far duller than Kaneki had ever seen them, despite how much foxfire Hide was subconsciously emitting. Even then, he seemed to be glowing, although it had faded significantly since Kaneki moved him from the woods.

“You should rest.” Hide was undoubtedly exhausted. The thunder was already fading in the distance, the storm having moved past them, but Hide was still pulled tighter than a bowstring. Kaneki reached towards him. After a few moments, Hide took his offered hand and let him pull him to his feet again. Kaneki guided him to the bed. He only had the one, but Hide clearly needed to rest more than he did.

He got Hide tucked under the blankets. Except when he went to pull back, Hide kept a firm grasp on his hand. He glanced up at Kaneki will pleading eyes. “_Stay?_” His voice was small, quiet enough that Kaneki hardly heard it.

The bed was hardly big enough for two people, but Kaneki nodded anyways. He slid under the blankets next to Hide, feeling Hide shift to accommodate him. Hide rested his head against Kaneki’s shoulder and took a shuddering breath.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he confessed.

“I’ll be here.” Kaneki squeezed Hide’s hand. “I promise.”

“You won’t leave?” Hide glanced up at him.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Kaneki met his eyes evenly.

Some of the tension left Hide’s shoulders. Hide closed his eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t like storms,” he repeated.

Kaneki hummed, wrapping an arm around Hide so he could rub his back. Hide curled closer to him in response, sinking into the embrace. His fingers clutched the front of Kaneki’s robe.

After a few minutes of laying there, Kaneki couldn’t hear the thunder at all anymore, though rain still pounded on the roof. The only other sound was the soft splashing of water dripping into the bowls Kaneki set out. Hide’s breath was beginning to even out as he slipped into sleep, his expression softening as the stress eased. Kaneki continued to absently rub his back, until the sound of the rain lulled him to sleep as well.

~<3<3<3~

Kaneki awoke to an empty bed. He initially believed Hide left, feeling a pain in his chest he couldn’t quite understand. That was until Hide came in with a pot of water and a couple of fish skewered on sticks. His illusion was reapplied, and his usual bright expression back in place.

“I brought breakfast,” Hide chirped, seeing Kaneki was awake.

It was like last night never happened. Kaneki frowned in thought.

“Not a morning person?” There were still some embers in the irori, so Hide stoked them and added some bark and twigs to get the fire going again. “I love mornings. Nothing like waking up and watching the sunrise. Also getting some fishing done!” Hide held up the sticks with the skewered fish proudly.

If Hide didn’t want to talk about it, they wouldn’t. Kaneki didn’t want to pry, giving Hide the same respect he gave Kaneki. After all, he did say there were things he didn’t like to talk about either. Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be there to support him when he needed it. It felt a little foreign to Kaneki, since he generally liked to retreat to solitude when he was hurting, but Hide seemed to be the opposite.

“Mornings are only good when there’s tea.” That’s why Kaneki always had some on hand. “And maybe a good book.”

“And what about some good company?”

Kaneki rolled his eyes. “Sure. We can add that to the list.”

Hide started the water for tea and oriented the fish so they would cook over the fire. Kaneki stayed under the covers, not yet wanting to brave the sharp bite of the cold morning air. It didn’t seem to bother Hide as much, though his cheeks were a little rosy.

“I forgot to mention yesterday, I talked to Ryouko again. She wants us for tea this afternoon, if you’re feeling up to it?” Hide rubbed his hands together over the fire. “She says that Hinami misses you reading with her.” Before Kaneki could even being to feel guilty, Hide continued on. “I bet they’ll both be really happy to see you. Do you have any books in mind to read her?”

Hinami liked adventure stories and tall tails. Kaneki only had a few of those, though he generally tried to get his hands on every book he could. “I think I have a few in mind.”

Hide clapped his hands together. “That’s good! I’m so excited.” Hide looked towards Kaneki’s bookshelf, smile widening. “Do you think, maybe you could read something to me?”

Kaneki’s eyebrows raised. “Sure. I could teach you too, if you want?”

Hide hummed. “I know how. I just really like the sound of your voice.”

_Wow_. Kaneki didn’t know his face could get so red so fast. “You can pick one.” He found it surprisingly difficult not to stutter, or choke on his own words.

Hide scanned Kaneki’s bookshelf. Kaneki stiffened as Hide’s eyes drifted over a small wooden box next to the case for his club, but Hide didn’t make a move to open it. Instead, he went to the opposite side of the shelf. Hide picked an older book, bound with worn leather, its pages yellowed. It was one of the oldest in Kaneki’s collection. It was filled with old children’s tails. It was one of Hinami’s favourites when she was younger. Hide passed it to Kaneki. Kaneki thumbed through the familiar pages and settled on a story. Suitably enough, it was about fishing and the yōkai which inhabited the sea.

Hide laid back in bed beside Kaneki, smiling as Kaneki started to tell the story, only a faint tremor in his voice from his nerves. He gradually grew more immersed in the story, his voice becoming more confident and fluid. After a few paragraphs, he glanced down at Hide and saw he had closed his eyes, though a small smile still remained on his lips. His golden hair was sticking out like a messy halo. Kaneki ached to run his fingers through it.

As it was, their arms were lightly brushing. Kaneki could feel Hide’s warmth through his clothes. He wanted to press closer to Hide and feel more of that warmth. He wanted Hide to wrap his arms around him, hold him close, smile and press hot lips against his bare skin.

“Is something wrong?” Hide cracked open an eye. “You stopped reading.”

“N-no.” Kaneki flushed and looked away, scratching his chin. “Actually, I was wondering.” Thinking of how warm Hide was, and the cold nights to come… “Do you have plans for the winter? A place to live? Sleep?”

“Ah, well… I figured I’d just stay out in the woods. It’s not really too bad. There’s this nice little cave I found closer to the mountains, with some nice foliage around it. Thought I might be able to make something out of it.”

Kaneki stared at him with disbelief. “I meant something in town. There are inns there. You could rent a place. Stay at one of the farms in exchange for labour. You can’t stay outside when it’s winter.”

“I –“

“You can stay here.” Kaneki could get another mattress.

Hide’s eyes widened. “Really? But you’ve already done so much for me…”

“I would like you to stay”

“Are you sure?” Hide sat up, facing Kaneki. His gaze was searching. He hadn’t seemed so nervous since the first time him and Kaneki met.

Kaneki wondered if maybe he was pushing too hard. Wondered if he was pushing Hide away by trying to keep him close. “You don’t have to if you don’t want. I understand if you don’t. I can still help you find a place in town. I’m friendly with some of the locals.”

“I think… I think I’ll stay here then.” Hide reached out tentatively, entwining his fingers with Kaneki’s. His thumb traced circles on the back of his hand. “Does this mean I get to hear you read more?”

“I suppose.” Kaneki raised the book again, mostly to hide the flush on his face. “We should finish the story before we head out.”

Hide hummed and laid down, this time resting his head on Kaneki’s thigh. After that, Kaneki didn’t know how me managed to read, when he could barely even think.

~<3<3<3~

Ryouko and Hinami lived in a small temple just outside of town. The temple was higher in the hills, almost to the base of the mountain. Hide whined about the seemingly countless steps, though he didn’t look tired at all. His face was bright and he lightly swung the basket Kaneki handed him before they left. It was full of some of Kaneki’s best tea, as well as some dried meat and root vegetables.

Kaneki carried his books, protected by some treated leather. It was unlikely to rain, but Kaneki wanted to be careful anyway. Books were priceless.

Ryouko and Hinami met them outside, Hinami once again tackling Kaneki with a hug. Kaneki hugged her back, smiling. She started chattering about their day. They had gone to a few farms, offering blessings for a good final harvest of the year, as well as charms to keep away various yōkai. She bragged a little about all the charms Ryouko showed her how to make, her eyes brightening when Kaneki congratulated her and told her she was doing a good job.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hide give him a small wave, then disappear into the temple with Ryouko. They seemed to hit it off pretty well when they met, so Kaneki wasn’t too concerned. Besides, it was hard not to like Hide.

Kaneki let Hinami drag him out into a meadow. The flowers there had long withered and died, but it still had a spectacular view of the town below. Kaneki unwrapped the books and presented them to Hinami, who clapped with delight.

They both sat hunched over the book, heads almost together. It reminded Kaneki of when Hinami was younger, and he was just starting to teach her how to read. He spent long hours there, sometimes babysitting while Ryouko was out doing her job.

They spent a lot of time together back them. Time went so quickly. Eventually Hinami would be grown up. Maybe someday marrying and having kids of her own. So on and so forth. Kaneki would be there for them, just like he had been there for the Fueguchi’s before them. He owed it to them, for giving him the life he had.

“Big Brother.” Hinami tugged on his sleeve, drawing his eyes away from the text. “Are you and Hide… together?”

Kaneki smiled softly and shook his head. “We’re not.”

“You want to be, though.” Hinami nodded to herself. “I can see the way you look at him.” Kaneki was starting to wish Hinami remained the little, naïve girl he remembered. “One of my friends in town looks at her girlfriend the same way.”

Kaneki huffed and rolled his eyes. He ruffled Hinami’s hair. “Don’t you worry about it, okay?”

Hinami pouted. She wasn’t so easily deterred. “He seems nice.”

Kaneki sighed. “He is nice. He’s very kind and sweet.”

Hinami pressed for more information, but Kaneki was reluctant to give away too much. He didn’t know where things were going with Hide. Hinami was obviously excited about the prospect of Hide being in Kaneki’s life. But Kaneki didn’t know if Hide would be staying. Not when he found out the truth about Kaneki. And he would, eventually. The truth always came out.

Kaneki was just postponing the inevitable.

The afternoon went quickly, too quickly. A couple short hours passed and the sun was already starting to set. Kaneki heard Hide and Ryouko step back outside, conversing in low, pleasant voices. Seeing Hide getting along with them made Kaneki’s chest ache. Would everything still be the same if Hide knew?

Sensing Kaneki’s sadness, Hinami gave him a small smile. “I think he’ll be alright. That he’ll accept you.” Sometimes Hinami seemed older than she was, eyes holding a wisdom much like her mother’s.

“You think?” Kaneki couldn’t hide the desperation in his voice.

Hinami nodded.

Hide made his way over to them, grinning. His eyes were bright, expression open, lips curved up gently and playfully. Kaneki wanted to trace his fingers over his almost-too-sharp features and commit them to memory. His fingers twitched, itching for some ink and a brush.

The basket Kaneki gave him way now empty, his gifts delivered. Kaneki wrapped his books back up carefully. They promised to visit again, and Kaneki earned another hug from Hinami in return.

He enjoyed the walk home, Hide surprisingly quiet and thoughtful at his side. His gaze was distant, expression open and relaxed. For the first time in a while, Kaneki felt at peace. He hadn’t realized how much he missed spending time with the Fueguchi’s, even if they reminded him of the ones he already lost. They loved him, despite how much he thought he didn’t deserve it.

Hide was the same way. Kaneki felt selfish, wanting him in his life, but he couldn’t help it anymore. Hide made him feel… he didn’t quite know, but he wanted to feel more of it. He wondered if this was the romantic love some of his books talked about. Kaneki never felt like that before – the thought both terrified and excited him.

Kaneki thought of the smaller wooden box next to the club on his bookshelf. Dread filled him, but so did resolve. He would tell Hide about his past. About who he was – what he was – what he became and why. He felt he owed it to him.

That night they went home together. As they laid in bed, he could still feel the tingle of Hide’s lips against his. Hide fell asleep right away, but Kaneki stayed up, thinking how best to do it. But no matter how many scenarios he ran through, none of them seemed quite right. He eventually fell asleep after a couple hours, no closer to a decision than when he started.

He wasn’t expecting to wake up alone. He wasn’t expecting to feel the magic from foxfire, coursing thick through the air like a fog. It felt so familiar, yet so foreign, heavy with evil intent. He wasn’t expecting for Hide to come bursting in, tears running down his pale, drawn face.

“My brother is here.” He choked on his sobs, almost collapsing in the doorway. “He’s going to kill everyone.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ryouko poured Hide the tea Kaneki sent with him. She had the kind smile and pleasant demeanour that reminded him so much of Kaneki.

Hide didn’t know what to think of Kaneki when he first met him. He could sense the power running through him, although it seemed indecipherable. It was familiar, but Hide couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was one of things that interested him. Kaneki was a mystery. Hide wanted to get to know him more. He was strange, kind and reclusive, and clearly held a great deal of power that he refused to use.

That just made Hide more curious.

But when it came down to it, Hide stopped pursuing answers. His friendship with Kaneki meant more to him than that, and more than anything, he wanted to respect his boundaries. Hide didn’t want to hurt him, not after Kaneki treated him so gently.

But there was more to their relationship than that. He wondered if he could actually call it that – their _relationship_, He wasn’t sure they were just friends, not quite. Not with the way Kaneki looked at him sometimes. The potential for them to go farther than tentative touches and glances made the magic under his skin flare. He wondered sometimes if he was actually glowing, foxfire burning inside him.

“I’m glad you managed to make it today.” Ryouko sipped her tea. “And got Kaneki to come with you. We’ve missed him.”

Hide met Ryouko for the second time the day before. Her and Hinami were once again in town selling charms. Hide himself had just gotten off from working at the flower shop with Akira and Amon. The two were a couple, who were both hunters and co-managed the flower shop. Akira was better at hunting and Amon at gardening, though the townsfolk usually thought it was the other way around. Hide liked their company.

Hinami had waved to Hide excitedly and Ryouko gestured for him to come over. It was then that she confessed it had been a year or so since she properly saw or spoke Kaneki, and that she was starting to get worried for him. Hide himself had noticed that Kaneki would get depressed and retreat from everyone else, but he wasn’t aware he had cut him off from everyone else to such an extent.

“I believe he thinks that if he protects everyone, that its good enough.” Ryouko wrung her hands together, then reached out and squeezed Hinami’s shoulder. “But it’s not. I’ve known him since I was a child, as did my mother, and my mother’s mother before that. He’s always been distant, but I don’t believe it’s because he doesn’t want connections with others, its that he thinks he doesn’t deserve them. Or that he’s afraid to hurt others.” Ryouko crouched and spoke to Hinami, who gave a quick nod and ran off to sell more charms to townsfolk. Ryouko watched her go with a sad expression. “After my husband died, he helped me take care of Hinami when I was too busy. He seemed happier then. And I know she misses him dearly too. Will you help us?”

Hide promised he would. They made plans to have tea, Hide intent to drag Kaneki along if he had to. But it wasn’t that hard to get him to agree at all. He knew some part of Kaneki desperately wanted to see them, even when he kept himself at a distance. He didn’t miss the smile on his face as Hinami dragged him along by the hand.

“He seems happy,” Hide said.

Ryouko hummed in agreement. “It would be nice if he looked like that more often. I’m hoping he will, with you around.”

Hide frowned a little. “I’m not sure how much I help.”

“A lot, I promise you. What matters is that you’re there for him, that you support and care for him like you have. You accept him for who he is, right?” There was more to that question; Hide could feel it.

“I’ll accept him no matter what.” Hide was resolved in that. “No matter his past. It’s who he is today that matters, right?”

“Our pasts do not define us, but they also help shape us.” Ryouko frowned at her tea. “Sadly, the past is also what troubles Kaneki greatly, though that is to be expected.”

“About Kaneki’s past…” Hide fidgeted in his seat. “I don’t know about it, and for now, I would rather keep it that way, until he decides to tell me.” He wanted to let her know, in case she accidently alluded to something that Kaneki didn’t want Hide to know. “He doesn’t want me to pry, and I respect that.”

Ryouko blinked in surprise, but a slow smile curled the edges of her mouth. “I’m glad you do.” She placed her hand over Hide’s, palm warm. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to let us know.” She looked back to Hinami, smiling fondly.

Hide stared at Kaneki, who was fully immersed in the book and reading it to Hinami. Hide could just barely make out the whisper of his gentle, even voice. Hide wanted to go over and join them, but didn’t want to take away from Kaneki’s time with Hinami.

Besides, he could spend the rest of the night with Kaneki, since he invited him to live with him and all. Hide’s cheeks warmed at the thought. He knew Kaneki wanted to get him his own mattress, but he wondered if he would be able to keep sleeping in the same bed with him until then. It wasn’t that he had _intentions_, but more that it was pleasant to sleep in his embrace. He made Hide feel safe and secure. It made him want to be held by him again. His arms and chest were strong, and despite how shy Kaneki could be, his voice was sure when he was comforting him.

Hide closed his eyes and focused on the sound of Kaneki’s voice. Ryouko sat in silence with him, the two of them drinking tea. She mostly watched Kaneki and Hinami, but sometimes Hide could feel her gaze on him as well. He stayed as still as possible, body posture loose and relaxed. He had nothing to hide.

Except that he did.

~<3<3<3~

By the time Hide and Kaneki got home, the sun set. Kaneki was smiling to himself, running his thumb over the leather covering his books. Hide wanted to reach out and hold his hand.

Kaneki had beautiful hands, fingers long and palms covered in calluses from working with them. They were also covered in little scars. Hide wanted to trace over each one and figure out where they came from.

Hide sidled up to Kaneki’s side. He really _did _only need one hand to carry those books. Gently, Hide slid his hand over Kaneki’s, carefully not to startle him.

Lost in his thoughts, Kaneki startled anyway, jumping and snapping his head towards Hide. His eyes were wide and confused, so Hide squeezed his hand again and offered him a shy smile. Kaneki’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, glancing down at their joined hands. His fingers twitched like he was going to pull away. Instead, he adjusted his hold on his books in one hand and took Hide’s hand with his other.

Hide’s heart soared. He tried not to let it show quite so much on his face, but based on Kaneki’s huffed laugh, he could probably tell. Hide hoped his palm wasn’t too sweaty. It certainly felt like it was. Actually, it kind of felt like it was a little hot out, especially for the time of year – or was it just Hide?

Kaneki squeezed his hand, grounding him. Hide took a shaky breath. Something in the air felt charged. Different.

Hide twitched with nervous excitement for the rest of the walk. Kaneki didn’t release he hand until he was opening the door to his home. Hide immediately missed its warmth. Hide placed the basket to the side as Kaneki went to put his books away.

Kaneki paused at the book shelf, his shoulders tight. Then, he pulled out a couple sheets of paper and charcoal. “May I…” Kaneki cleared his throat. “May I draw you?”

Hide blinked. “Only if I can draw you.” Hide didn’t even know why he wanted to. He was a terrible artist. It was sure to look horrible.

Kaneki’s expression brightened. He handed Hide a sheet of paper and some of his charcoal. It felt lumpy, awkward, and too big in Hide’s hand. Kaneki went to the table and Hide saw opposite of him. Hide did his best to keep his expression neutral and schooled.

He kept his eyes down mostly on his paper, hoping it would turn out half decent. Every once in a while, he would feel Kaneki scrutinize him before going back to drawing. There was the soft sound of charcoal against the paper and Kaneki’s occasional humming.

Kaneki continued drawing for a while after Hide was finished. He was utterly focused and unbothered by Hide’s gaze on him. He was in his element, much like when he was reading, or acting at the protector of the forest. Gone was his shyness and his awkwardness.

Hide adored both sides of him.

Another few minutes passed and Kaneki finally set down his charcoal, his fingers darkened to black. He had a few marks on his face where he touched it throughout drawing, even though he probably didn’t know it. He hesitated, then showed Hide how he drew him.

Kaneki was an amazing artist – but the way he drew Hide… was beautiful. Was that how Kaneki saw him?

Hide wet his lips, staring nervously down at his own drawing. It paled in comparison to Kaneki’s.

“I’m not really that good of an artist,” he admitted. His nerves didn’t really help either. But Kaneki showed Hide his drawing, so Hide wanted to return the gesture.

Hide flipped the paper over and adverted his gaze. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to see the expression on Kaneki’s face. He felt fingers on his chin, turning his face so he had no choice but to look at Kaneki.

“I love it. Thank you.” Kaneki’s expression was so soft and gentle it made Hide’s chest ache. Hide placed his hand over Kaneki’s, turning his face so he could press a kiss to Kaneki’s palm. Kaneki inhaled shakily.

Hide kept his eyes closed, really hoping he hadn’t made a mistake. Kaneki pulled away so many times before, who was to say this night would be any different?

The hand on his cheek trailed back to the nape of his neck, fingernails lightly scrapping across his scalp. Hide felt a shiver run down all the way from his head to his toes. _Oh god. Please, please, please. _The table creaked as Kaneki leaned forward over it, and Hide found himself doing the same. They met in the middle.

Kaneki’s lips were soft. He was tentative and gentle. Hide immediately felt his brain short-circuit. All he could do was try to kiss Kaneki back and not sit there with his mouth gaping open in surprise. He reached forward aimlessly, hands finding the fabric of Kaneki’s yukata. Hide clutched the fabric in his hands, wanting to get closer, but the _damned table was in the way._

They broke apart. Kaneki’s face was red, his breathing slightly laboured. Hide was sure he looked similar.

Kaneki licked his lips. It wasn’t meant to be a sensual motion, but Hide found it to be anyway. “I hope that was alright,” Kaneki said. “I haven’t really… done that before.”

Before Kaneki could even begin to get self-conscious, Hide caught his hands and lifted them to his mouth. He brushed his lips over Kaneki’s knuckles, hearing Kaneki’s breath hitch. “It was perfect,” Hide said.

In a way, it felt like Hide’s first kiss too. Sure, he kissed people before. He was always curious and wanted to know what the big fuss was about. It was fun, but it never meant too much to him. Not until now. Not until Kaneki. This was the first time he kissed someone he truly cared for. It was the first time a kiss made his heart race in his chest and made his head fill with fog. It was the time he felt such an intense longing to kiss someone again that he could practically still feel their lips on his.

“Come here,” Hide said lowly. He scooted around the table so he was beside Kaneki. No table was getting in his way again, that was for sure. He put a hand on Kaneki’s waist and leaned it. This time, he took the lead, a little firmer than Kaneki had been.

Kaneki moaned as Hide ran his tongue across the seam on his lips. Almost shyly, Kaneki opened his mouth, hands coming to clutch at Hide’s shoulders. Hide circled his arms around Kaneki’s waist, cushioning his back as he pushed him onto the floor.

Hide kept kissing Kaneki, hardly wanting to breath. Eventually Kaneki turned his head to the side, gasping for breath even as he clutched at Hide’s back and hair, trying to pull him even closer. Hide kissed his jaw and neck instead, nibbling and sucking hard enough to mark Kaneki’s skin. Kaneki used swears even Hide didn’t know.

By the time Hide pulled back, position himself so he was sitting on Kaneki’s lap, Kaneki was an absolute mess. His hair was ruffled and out of place, lips red, neck bruised, and eyes alight with a desperate need. Hide smirked, raising his hands slowly and shrugging his yukata off his shoulders. It pooled around his waist.

Kaneki didn’t hesitate. His hand went to Hide’s waist and he rolled them over, positioning himself so that he was on top. His hands explored every inch of Hide’s bare skin, making him shiver. His muscles danced under Kaneki’s hands, and when he finally decided he explored enough with them, he explored with his lips and tongue instead. Hide squeezed his eyes shut, one hand clutching the fabric on Kaneki’s back, the other pressed against the ground.

He was just as much of a wreck as Kaneki was, if not more. For not doing this before, Kaneki was already way too good at it. Hide could hardly think straight. The only thing he could think about was how much he wanted Kaneki.

“You’re so beautiful,” Kaneki murmured against his chest. “I want…”

“Anything.” Hide gasped. “Anything you want.”

Kaneki cupped Hide’s cheek, making him open his eyes. He met Kaneki’s dilated gaze. “You. Only you.”

“You have me,” Hide replied. “You have for a while.”

Kaneki shuddered. “I don’t want to stop,” Kaneki whispered, almost to himself. Hide knew what came next – Kaneki pulling away, thinking he didn’t deserve to have what he so desperately longed for. Thinking he wasn’t worth of love, or anything that could go with it.

“Don’t stop,” Hide almost begged. “I want you. In any way. In every way.”

Kaneki leaned forward, his lips brushing against Hide’s chest. “You’ll let me know? If _you _want to stop?”

“Of course,” Hide said, even if he highly doubted he would want to stop.

~<3<3<3~

Hide awoke in the middle of the night, wrapped up tight in Kaneki’s arms. His strong chest was pressed up against Hide’s back, their legs tangled together. Hide disentangled himself enough that he could turn to face him. He admired Kaneki’s delicate features, tracing his finger tips over his cheekbones, his jaw, and finally his lips. Kaneki’s nose twitched, but he didn’t wake up. Although, he did grumble in his sleep when Hide slipped from his arms. Hide knelt by him and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t worry.”

He didn’t know if Kaneki could hear him, but he grumbled again and his breathing leveled back out. Hide slid his clothes back on, then stepped outside. It was freezing, but Hide didn’t mind. The shock of the cold helped him wake up.

Since he was already awake, he decided he could get some things ready for in the morning. He had a few gems stashed that Kaneki had yet to find, since it was getting too cold for the flowers. He foraged for a while, finding some of the berries Kaneki liked. After he found enough, he went to the tree he stashed his belongings in.

It was tall and thick, with gnarled bark. Hide carved out a spot big enough to fit his bow and few arrows. He had always been a skilled hunter, but had only recently gotten a new bow from Akira and Amon. He figured it was about time to try it out.

He was knotching his first arrow when he felt a familiar sense of dread spread over the area. It was a feeling he hoped he would never experience again. It was a magic he thought was gone forever. Turning, he saw a man with a half-crazed grin and burns spread across half his face.

“Hello, little brother.”

“Furuta,” Hide gasped. “I thought you were…”

“Dead?” Furuta said. “No, you failed to kill me with that measly little fire of yours. And now? You will pay for it.”

Furuta’s fingers sparked, electricity jumping between them. The sky above them rumbled in response to his power, clouds swirling at gathering ominously. Hide flinched, expecting for the electricity to shoot out and zap him, like it had so many times before.

Instead, Furuta smiled with glee and gestured with his hands around them. “Nice little home you have here. It was a shame you destroyed your last one.”

“That was never a home to me,” Hide hissed. Fire covered each of his fingertips. If he could, he would burn the house down all over again, only wishing that Furuta would actually die in the fire this time.

“No, but it was a home for _me._” Furuta’s eyes glittered with excitement. “An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. A home for a home. You destroyed mine, so I’ll just have to destroy yours.” Furuta tilted his head and laid a hand on his cheek. “And after you’ve watched everything you love be destroyed, I’ll also pay you back for this.”

Lightning flashed and Furuta was gone. Hide’s knees shook. He stumbled and grabbed onto a tree, doing anything he could to keep from falling. A sob escaped him, and then another. Tears stung his eyes as he stumbled forward.

He wouldn’t be able to stop him. He was able to trick Furuta before, keeping him locked inside the family house long enough to kill him – or so Hide thought. He earned his seventh tail for his trickery, but he should have known better, for Furuta had nine. Of course, he would escape, and of course he would come looking. Hide could never be rid of him. Once again, he would find himself under Furuta’s thumb, doing his bidding – hurting all those people – just to save himself.

Before he even knew what he was doing or going, he was back at Kaneki’s cabin. The sight brought him some clarity, and calmness. He wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

He sped to a run, bursting through Kaneki’s door. It rattled in its frame and Hide heard a harsh crack as it broke. Kaneki shot up out of bed, on his feet within seconds, and glaring threatening in Hide’s direction. He relaxed when he realized who he was, confusion making his eyebrows furrow when he saw Hide’s expression.

“My brother is here.” He choked on his sobs, almost collapsing in the doorway. “He’s going to kill everyone.”

Kaneki rushed towards him, reaching out. Hide gratefully fell into his arms, burying his face against Kaneki’s shoulder and inhaling his scent.

“Are you okay?” Kaneki asked. His hands ran over his body, looking for injuries.

“I am.” Hide said. “I am.” Even if he didn’t feel like he was. “We need to hurry.”

Kaneki pulled away. Hide really didn’t want to let him go, but they had to do something. Kaneki paused to cup his cheeks and kiss his forehead.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. Then he stepped away and towards his shelves. His hands paused over a small, ornamental box. He opened it slowly, pulling out a red oni mask. He clipped it to his side and pulled out his club, throwing it over his shoulder. He expression was dark and full of grief. “We’ll talk. About all of this. Later, okay?”

Hide nodded numbly. “I’m not letting you go alone. Furuta is... he’s powerful.”

“I know. I can feel it.” Kaneki smiled sadly. “Promise you’ll stay safe?”

“Only if you do.”

Kaneki took Hide’s hand and squeezed it. “I promise. Now we need to go.”

Hide nodded. He ran behind Kaneki, struggling to keep up. The forest flew around them, Hide occasionally stumbling, but not falling in his rush. 

There was a build-up of power, then release. Lightning arced through the sky and struck with such great force it rocked the ground beneath their feet. Thunder crackled through the sky, making Hide freeze up. He could feel phantom electricity coursing through his veins. The pain almost made him fall.

“Hide!” Kaneki called. He was staring down at the town, his face grim. Smoke rose from a farm building. It was torn apart, the house burned black where the lightning stuck. Furuta was standing on the dirt road, smiling as he faced a woman. He raised his hand.

Kaneki screamed.

Ryouko fell. 

Everything went silent. The only thing Hide could hear was his own heartbeat and Kaneki’s quiet sobbing gasps. Hide didn’t know where Hinami was, but he couldn’t imagine Ryouko would bring her along. Not for this. He could only hope she was safe.

Furuta looked up towards them, smiling and giving Hide a cheery wave. Kaneki’s breath caught in his throat. Magically energy poured off him, potent enough Hide could see its darkness reaching – curling around everything it touched. It felt... wrong. Horrid and twisted and destructive. 

Kaneki’s hand dropped to his oni mask. “He’ll pay. With his life.” He slid the mask over his face, and his power only grew. Hide felt suffocated by it. He choked, almost collapsing to his knees. He watched with horrified confusion as Kaneki’s skin reddened, his hair darkened and the mask seemingly fused to his face. He lifted his club over his shoulder, then lunged forward.

Furuta met him with excitement. He ducked out of way of Kaneki’s swing and raked his nails across his abdomen, drawing blood. Kaneki kicked out with his foot, driving Furuta back into the burnt farmhouse. He crashed into the wood, beams cracking under the force. He rose before Kaneki was on him again, fingers alight with electricity. Kaneki barely managed to dodge the bolt of electricity Furuta sent at him. It sailed past and collided with a tree, making it explode into a million splinters. Kaneki didn’t have time to recover, Furuta sending more and more bolts at him. 

Hide cried out as one grazed Kaneki’s side, burning him deeply and sending him sprawling to the ground. Furuta laughed in response. 

Hide’s legs shook, but he somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other. He wouldn’t let Furuta kill Kaneki. Not like he killed Ryouko. Not like he killed so many others before her. Hide’s fire rose to his fingertips, sparking in the night. He gathered up his magic in his hands, forming it into a giant ball, then released it.

Furuta simply glanced in his direction and batted the fireball away with his tail. However, his eyes widened when he saw Hide coming right behind it. Hide went for his scarred side with his claws, breath catching in his throat as Furuta grabbed them. 

“And here I thought you learned better.”

Electricity coursed through him, the pain familiar, yet so indescribable. The was so acute, so unthinkable that all Hide could do was spasm, all his muscles locked. He couldn’t even breath.

There was a scream and Furuta released him. Hide crumbled to the ground, still twitching. Everything ached, but he somehow managed to draw oxygen into his lungs, even as he coughed and sputtered. The only thing he could smell was burnt flesh.

Kaneki was above Furuta, one off his tails in his hand. He hacked at the base of it, Furuta howling in pain as it tore loose. Kaneki tossed it aside, rage seeping off of him. He grabbed another.

Furuta raised his hands to electrocute him, but Hide pushed past his pain and threw himself on top of him to hold him down. Furuta tried to electrocute him instead, but faltered as another one of his tails was ripped off. Hide caught his hands, much like Furuta did to him earlier, Hide’s burnt hands screaming with pain.

“Just die,” he hissed. He pushed with his power and all he could see was fire. Furuta screamed as he burned. Hide could barely contain the flames, making sure he didn’t burn himself or Kaneki. Hide didn’t stop until Furuta stopped struggling. 

When Hide pulled back, still knelt over Furuta, and there was a long moment of silence. His breath caught in his throat and he brought his hands up to cover his mouth. Tears blurred his vision, and he looked around, seeking Kaneki.

Kaneki was standing behind him, the mess of Furata’s torn-off tails scattered behind him. He raised his hands to his mask, but didn’t pull it off. 

Hide staggered to his feet, barely managing to remain standing. He collapsed against Kaneki, not caring that his magical power felt just as suffocating as before. He felt like he could hardly breath anyway. He pressed his face against Kaneki’s chest and sobbed. After a couple minutes, Kaneki’s arms wrapped around him. Hide felt drops falling on top his head. And when looked up, he saw Kaneki had removed his mask and was crying as well.

“What do I tell Hinami?” Ryouko’s body was lying face down, charms and seals spread around her. She may have slowed Furuta down, but she was no match for him. “She’s so young. And now her mom’s gone.”

Hide didn’t know what to say. It was all his fault. If only he had killed Furuta before –stayed and made sure he was dead. But he was too desperate to escape, so he didn’t. He couldn’t. Or maybe he just couldn’t bear to see his brother dead. Even then, the sight made his stomach clench. He hated him - he hated him so, so much. But it still hurt.

~<3<3<3~

Hinami was curled up on a mattress in the corner. Kaneki’s home didn’t have a lot of space, but she preferred it to her own. Hide supposed it was full of too many memories that hurt to think of. Kaneki set up a room-divider - something him and Hide made mostly out of bamboo. She spent most of her days in bed, but she was gradually starting to get up and move more - at least to the table where she would sit and read for a couple hours.

Hide was grieving too, but he didn’t want to shut down. Hinami and Kaneki needed him, even if all he could give was half-smiles and some warm meals. Kaneki was struggling as well, wanting to provide what he could for Hinami, but not always sure what to do. Hide helped the best he could, but often found himself feeling lost.

It was a week after Ryouko’s death that him and Hide finally talked. Hinami was curled into a ball, fast asleep.

“I...” Kaneki licked his lips, fingers tapping against the ornamental container set on the table. 

Hide reached out and took his hands. “You’re an oni.”

Kaneki’s lips pursed, his expression downward. “I am. I - Hinami’s ancestor - he sealed that part of me away - into this mask. He told me _‘Your past does not define you. Your future is what you make of it.’_ He gave me a second chance - a chance to make amends and make up for what I’ve done in the past. I’ve stood beside the Fueguchi’s for a long time now, and I will continue to for as long as I exist. I will protect this place and its people...” Kaneki’s voice wavered. “To the best of my abilities.”

“Kaneki...”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I wanted to. I really did, but –“

“I know.” Hide said gently. “I know you did.” Hide moved to the other side of the table, taking a seat beside Kaneki. He pulled him into his arms, mindful of the bandages still wrapped around his chest. Hide also had his arms bandaged from fingertips to elbows, although his skin was mostly healed from Furuta’s electricity. Kaneki turned his head against Hide’s shoulder. Hide ran his fingers through his hair. “You did your best. I’m here for you okay?”

Kaneki trembled, but Hide didn’t hear him cry. “I’m here for you too.” He tightened his arms around Hide. “I know you’re in pain, even though you’re trying to hide it. You’re grieving.”

“I shouldn’t. Not for him.” Hide bit his lip. “Not after everything he’s done. To me. To you and Hinami... I shouldn’t.”

Kaneki placed a hand over Hide’s heart. “But still, you are. Whether you want to or not. If you’re hurting, I want to help you. So please, don’t hide from me. I don’t want to hide from you anymore, either.”

Hide nodded his affirmation. He didn’t think he could speak without becoming a blubbering mess. They stayed hugging for a while before moving to the bed. Hide curled around Kaneki, basking in his warmth. Kaneki held him just as tightly.

When Hide visited where they buried Furuta’s body the next day, he didn’t feel guilt for doing so. Some part of him wanted to spit on his grave. But another part of him…

“Do you remember, when I was young? And you would take me to the family pond and we would catch the fish there. I remember you put one under dad’s pillow once, and you got into so much trouble. Or when my legs were too short, and I had trouble keeping up, so you would lift me up onto your shoulders? I miss you, when I remember you like that.” Hide swallowed thickly. “I don’t remember when you changed. I don’t think I can ever forgive you for it either. For what you did to dad. For what you did to me. But… I won’t let you have control over me anymore. This is my life. I’m going to live it… Goodbye.”

At Hide’s request days earlier, Kaneki left the grave unmarked. They would be the only ones who knew where he was buried. Hide didn’t know why, but it made him feel better.

One week turned into many. Winter came and snow fell. Hide unexpectedly found he didn’t mind it. It was nice to come in from the cold, get under some blankets and hold the one you loved close. Kaneki made them some nice hot tea every morning, and only mildly complained when Hide pressed his icy toes against his legs. When Hinami was having a good day, they would head out into the snow and play together, making sculptures and snow angels.

Slowly and gradually, life changed, but moved on.

Spring came and the snow melted. Hinami was gradually going back to studying to be an onmyoji. Kaneki sat with her at the table every morning, going over the seals he knew. A couple weeks later, he went to Hinami’s home and retrieved the books they had there for Hinami to study.

Every week, Hide would go and clean Hinami’s family home, making sure it was well maintained and taken care of. He wasn’t sure if Hinami would ever head home, but if she did, Hide wanted it to be ready for her.

Come summer, Kaneki and Hide had an additional room added onto Kaneki’s house, so that Hinami could have her own room and space – at least during the summer, when it was warm enough to not need the irori.

Hinami started getting out of the house more. She went to town and continued to sell seals and charms. She earned a little bit of money for herself, which Kaneki encouraged her to save. Hinami’s time away also meant Hide and Kaneki got some more alone time. It was a little awkward at first, but they rather quickly got on the same page.

Hide was more than happy to climb into bed with Kaneki just after lunch, get a little busy, and nap for a couple hours. It was a perfect day if you asked him. But good days like that didn’t take away the bad ones. Between him and Kaneki, they had plenty. But they were there for each other, whether they needed to talk, or just have someone close.

Fall came.

It was the time they first met. When they both gained so much, but lost so much as well. It was a time for celebration, just as it was a time for mourning.

Months turned to years.

Hinami was growing up. Time seemed to move so quickly for humans. Hide swore every time he blinked; Hinami had grown. She was turning twenty years old soon. She had a boyfriend one day, something both Hide and Kaneki were worried, but excited about. She was happy though, and that was all that mattered.

Before they knew it, she was getting married. She was moving back into her family home that Hide had meticulously cleaned over the years. Then she was pregnant. Then she had a little boy. She let Kaneki and Hide hold him in their arms. Human life was so beautiful, so fragile.

Hide cried. He thought Kaneki did too.

Two years after that, she had a daughter as well. Life continued on. Generations of Fueguchi’s lived and died. Kaneki and Hide remained constant.

~<3<3<3~

“How do you work this again?” Kaneki was fiddling with the television remote. After so many years, Hide thought he would have learned how to use it – but he usually spent his time buried in his books instead of watching television.

Technology was amazing. Hide could hardly keep up, but he loved every second of learning how to use something new. Phones were his favourite. He especially loved he could look up whatever he wanted to, whenever he wanted to, and that he could chat with just about anybody at anytime.

“You just press this button.” Hide took the remote from him and turned the television on. Kaneki simply hummed and went back to his computer, content with the news playing as background noise.

Kaneki’s excitement with technology pretty much ended at computers – which he didn’t even use to game. He was a writer nowadays, making money by publishing books. Hide, with his endless love of learning, knew at least a dozen languages, and made plenty of money through translation.

They lived on the same plot of land they always did, Hide used his magic to gradually change their appearance over the years. Only the Fueguchi’s knew their true identity. They were still onmyoji, offering guidance to the townspeople when they needed it – although not everyone believed in yōkai anymore.

The town had long ago expanded, swallowing the forest that Kaneki and Hide once lived in. They didn’t even live on the outskirts anymore, the town having expanded much further than that.

Hide sat beside Kaneki, flicking him with one of his nine tails. “How long are you going to stare at that screen and type nothing?”

“Until the words appear.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

Hide ran his hands over his shoulders. “I could always offer some… inspiration.”

Kaneki huffed, smiling. “How many times do I have to tell you its not that type of story?”

Hide hummed and kissed along his neck. “A few more times at least.”

Kaneki shook his head and covered Hide’s mouth with his palm. “Give me a little more time okay? I’m getting something, I can feel it.”

“Sure thing, love. Later.” Hide kissed Kaneki’s knuckles. “Want coffee?”

“So long as it isn’t any of that instant stuff. Then, yes. Thank you.”

Kaneki loved coffee even more than he loved tea, which was really saying something. He cycled through a collection of blends from various places in the world, although he had his favourites. Coffee tasted mostly just like coffee to Hide, unless it was one of the really strong-tasting ones – then it just tasted like crap. Yeah, Hide was definitely a light-roast kind of guy. Hide picked one of the American blends he liked and made a pot. He took his with cream and sugar, but Kaneki almost always took his black.

Hide poured some into Kaneki’s favourite mug – a blue one with pink clouds – and set it beside him. Happy to see he was finally typing away at the keyboard, Hide sank into one of their couches, pulling out his phone. He had a silly little game he played when he was bored – you would catch and collect these little monsters called Pokémon. He loved it, and he especially loved all the silly looking ones.

Once he was finished playing, he opened up his streaming app and started quietly watching the next episode of one of his favourite dramas. Halfway through, he felt Kaneki sit on the couch beside him. Hide adjusted so that they could lay side-by-side.

Kaneki had little interest in the dramas Hide watched, but still occasionally caught an episode with him, just so that Hide could rant to him about what as going on. Hide loved to talk about his television shows, and Kaneki seemed to like to listen to him talk about them more than he actually liked to watch them.

Once the episode finished and Hide finished ranting about all the new relationship drama, Kaneki leaned in and kissed him slowly. He dropped a hand to Hide’s waist, making him shiver.

No matter how long they were together, or how many kisses they shared, Kaneki always kissed Hide as passionately as he did the first time. It was like he was discovering him all over again. Hide could only ever match his exuberance. Hide was breathless by the time Kaneki pulled back, cheeks warm and smile soft.

“So I take it writing went well?”

“I got a couple thousand words down.” Kaneki kissed up Hide’s jaw to his ear. “It’s enough for now. My editors should get off my back. There’s no rush.”

Not for them. There was never a rush.

Hide cupped Kaneki cheek and stared at the man he had loved for hundreds of years and that loved him back. They had been through so much together, loved and lost, struggled and succeeded. But no matter what, they always had each other, and they would always have each other. For always. For eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter story will be posted tomorrow! I hope everyone enjoyed this one!

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh I just got a cold and it's kicking my ass. I want to sleep. 
> 
> Next chapter will be out tomorrow, a bit later in the afternoon. I have a lot more edits to do on it. The last part of this chapter was a little vague. I go into more detail when we get Hide's POV next chapter. Hope you enjoy.


End file.
